The Official Geek Test

Here it is, the geek test, written by geeks themselves and probably the most comprehensive test of its kind. The fact that you even have your hands on a copy of this test is probably indicative of at least some inherent geekiness or at the very least geek friends who led you here. To take this test you will need a pen or a pencil and some paper (items no proper geek should be without). The statements should be self-explanatory; award yourself points where they ring true and even if in doubt (i.e. you only painted one miniature and it was a year ago) go ahead and take the points anyway—take pride in your geekdom. As a general rule, the statements need to pertain to the last two years. The fact that you played D&D when you were ten years old doesn’t count unless you are between the ages of ten and twelve.
 
Played miniature game 
 (if you are questioning what miniatures are, skip these questions) 		 10
 
 
Bought miniatures 20
 
Painted miniature 25
 
Paid for miniatures to be painted  35
 
Been paid to paint miniatures 70
 
(Welcome back) 
 
Own Monty Python 10
 
Quote Monty Python  30
 
Quote Mel Brooks  20
 
Watched the Star Wars Movies 5
 
Corrected the previous statement to “the first Star Wars movies” 10
 
Quote Star Wars 15
 
Know Star Wars history 40
 
Seen the Star Wars Christmas special 50
 
Fact checked about Star Wars 50
 
Watched Star Trek (occasionally) 10
 
Watched Star Trek (regularly) 20
 
Know the actors in Star Trek 20
 
Know the episodes of Star Trek (Plot and names)  45
 
Have gone to a Star Trek convention 60 

 
Know Klingon 
 		 100 
 
Attended Klingon summer camp (even we think you’re a freak on this one)  200
 
Game system map on the wall  50
 
Played RPG 25
 
Own a RPG book 30
 
Own a library of RPG books (15 or more) 
(this is the actual game books, not he fiction novels—don’t worry, you’ll get to claim those later)		 50
 
 
Quote from RPG books 100 
 
Play LARP  25
 
Play LARP weekly 50
 
Play LARP or RPG more than three times a week 120
 
Know what LARP or RPG means 5 
 
Have a dice bag (doesn’t everyone?) 5 
 
Ever lost someone in gaming conversations 20
 
On a daily basis 50
 
Fact checked a RPG or LARP outside of game 40
 
Attended a gaming convention 40
 
Ran or helped organize a gaming convention  70
 
Played an all night gaming session 10
 
On New Years Eve 100
 
Spent four hours or more in a gaming store in one day 20
 
Owned or worked in a gaming store  40
 
Run a LARP or RPG 30 per game
 
Play rock, paper scissors a lot  10
 
make gaming references to real life 25
 
Know someone only by their character/in-game name 20 
 
Played the Amber RPG 30
 
Play Magic 20 
 
Have an extensive Magic card collection (1000 or more) 80 
 
Read Literature for fun (school doesn’t count) 5 
 
Read Sci-Fi for fun
 		 15
Prefer the full pronunciation of science fiction because it’s classier 30
 
Read literature based off of RPGs  35
 
Favorite author is R.A Salvatore 70
 
Own or read a Star Wars/Trek book 20
 
Own or read the Vampire Chronicles 10
 
Own or read the core Tolkein books 10
 
Read the other “Tolkein” books  20
 
Own or read all the Dune books 20
 
Own or read all the Amber books  20
 
Own or read all the Star Wars books 75
 
Own or read all the Star Trek books 150
 
Dress all in black 5 
 
Own a gaming teeshirt 30
 
Own a trench coat 5 
 
Own a corset  5
 
Know what garb means  5 
 
Own a set of garb 20
 
Ever worn garb to scare normals 40
 
Attended a ren-fair 10
 
Member of SCA 30
 
Member of NIGA 30
 
Member of RPGA 30
 
Member of local gaming club 30
 
Pagan  15
 
Read Douglas Adams books 5
 
Quote from a Douglas Adams book
 		 10 
Own a Rush album  10
 
Own a Joe Satriani album  10
 
Own a Dead Can Dance album 10
 
Own a Final Fantasy soundtrack 50
 
Read Sandman  5
 
Own Sandman  25
 
Worship Neal Gaimon as a god  25 
 
Collect comic books 20 
 
Own a comic book teeshirt  10
 
Own a computer 5 
 
Own a maxed out computer  20 
 
Built your own computer 50 
 
Play computer/console RPGs 10
 
Play computer/console Strategy games 5 
 
Chat 20 
 
Met significant other through internet 60
 
Know computer language 30 per language
 
Know assembly 50 
 
Know machine language 200 
 
Own computer teeshirt 40
 
Write in binary for fun 100
 
Have played a video game for more than six hours in one sitting 25
 
Are a video game junkie 
(play video games for more than 20 hours a week)		 75
 
 
Enjoy watching video games 50
 
Own Tony Hawk Pro Skater  10 
 
Believe in the zen of Tony Hawk 50 
 
Own any Anime 15
 
Have extensive Anime collection 80 
 
Own Anime teeshirt 10
 
Have a comics/Anime/gaming poster 20
 
Have a station wagon or van 5
 
Thinking that you can get laid in the back of your station wagon or van 20 
 
Brush your teeth less than twice a day 5 
 
Brush your teeth less than twice a week 25
 
Having long hair if you’re a man 5
 
Shower less than six times a week 10
 
Have a distinctive unpleasant odor (ask a friend or co-worker) 15
 
Hang out in coffee houses and all night diners  10
 
Wrote of helped write a geek test  100
 
Watch Dr. Who 30
 
Dr. Who fan 45
 
Play Dr. Who RPG  75
 
Own or Read all Dr. Who novels  125
 
Fact checked Dr. Who 50 

Because the next three questions pertain to activities frequently participated in highschool, the two year rule does not apply. But if you have been out for more than ten years and aren’t involved in the activities through college or the community, go ahead and skip these questions.
 
Are or were in marching band 20
 
Are or were in choir 10
 
Are or were in a theatre program 5

This next part of the test is the anti-geek point section. Deduct any points earned from below from your current total. These points can be claimed as long as the action happened in the last four years unless it is related to highschool activities then the rules above apply.
 
 
Getting laid in the back of a station wagon of van  50 
 
Play typical pop music instruments 50
 
Skating (in-line or skateboard) 35
 
Mountain biking 35
 
Treking (hiking, backpacking) 50
 
Play sports 50
 
Play popular sports (football, baseball, basketball) 150
 
Generally athletic 10
 
Have done jail time 50
 
Do drugs more than twice a year  35
 
Drink (we’re talking party drinking here) 15
 
Own higher end, name brand, trendy clothes 70
 
Own a cool car  50
 
Not a virgin 10
 
Member of the 21 or mile high club 100
 
Own a motorcycle  50
 
Are well traveled (abroad or in the U.S.) 80
 
Hold a blue color job 20
 
Are a member of a rock band 150
 
Listen to country music 20
 
Go bar hopping 30
 
Are popular with members of the opposite sex 80
 
In a fraternity or a sorority 75

 

Geek Point breakdown
0-199          Non Geek
200-299      Level 0 geek (wannabe)
300-350      Level 1 geek (Urkel)
351-451      Level 2 geek (casual geek)
452-652      Level 3 geek (true geek)
653-1053    Level 4 geek (Uber Geek)
1054-1854  Level 5 geek (Jedi Master)
1855-2855  Level 6 geek (Leader of the Golden Crown and Rear Admiral of the Fleet)
2866-4000  Level 7 geek (Maud’dib, The Chosen Master of the Illuminati, Lord of
                                         Silicon Valley and the Justicar of all he surveys)

If you can guess what this chart is based on, give yourself 100 more points